How To Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

Man and woman say what you mean

It’s not always easy to say what you mean, especially when you’re not aware the other person doesn’t understand.  For instance, take a look at the following scenarios.

1) Question asked on Quora:  A guy asked me out today and I told him “no,” but I wanted him to try harder. Why didn’t he try again?

2) Your birthday is coming up and you have your eye on something special you would really love to have.  You drop hint after hint to your husband and you’re sure he’s been hearing you and planning a nice surprise.  On the big day he doesn’t even mention your birthday let alone get you what you’ve been hinting at.

3) You’ve been struggling to get a project done by the deadline.  You could really use some help but no one offers.  Your inner voice gets more and more upset as the deadline gets closer.  Finally, someone asks if you need help and you say, “No, I’m fine, thanks.”

Do you recognize yourself in any of the above scenarios?  Chances are you don’t always say what you mean.  Why is it so hard for us to communicate clearly?  It seems men have no problem telling us what they want.  Why can’t we do the same? Continue reading “How To Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say”

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How to Pivot When You Feel Powerless

Pivot from powerless to powerful

“I feel so powerless.”  When I heard those words come out of her mouth, I knew we had gotten to the core of what she had been struggling with.  She had worked for years in an industry that can suck the life out of you if you let it.  Throughout our work together, she spoke of family dynamics that were less than supportive, mean bosses, sabotaging co-workers and unrealized dreams.  Any one of these situations could, over time, erode a person’s self-esteem.  And I was listening to a very smart, very talented, strong, independent woman who was dealing with a combination of them all. Continue reading “How to Pivot When You Feel Powerless”

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6 Easy Steps To a Life That Doesn’t Suck

Does your life or some aspect of it, currently suck?  If so, what part isn’t working and what are you willing to do to bring it closer to what you want?  We all go through periods in our lives where we’re not happy with how things are.  These times are nothing more than signals that an adjustment is needed to get back on track.

In case you’re not sure where the track is, when you’re feeling happy, you’re on track.  When things are not feeling all that great, you’re off track.  Keeping your life in a state of non-suckiness can take some work but mostly it takes awareness.  Here are a few easy steps you can follow that should get (or keep) you on track. Continue reading “6 Easy Steps To a Life That Doesn’t Suck”

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Making Friends with Your Inner Critic

We all have an inner critic.  I don’t care how well adjusted you are or how much inner work you’ve done.  You may go weeks or even months without hearing from her but one day, something happens and BAM!  There it is.  That old voice speaks up.  You know the one.  That voice that never seems to be satisfied no matter what you do or how you do it.

She burrows in little by little and if left unchecked she can take over your whole life.  But there is a way to get on her good side. Continue reading “Making Friends with Your Inner Critic”

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What does an empowered woman look like?  In my search to find the answer, I came across many web-sites, books, blogs and magazines.  All dedicated to empowering women.  Why is this such a huge topic?

The dictionary defines power as “the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events”. The example shown was “the idea that men should have power over women”.

And isn’t that it?  The idea that men should have power over women.  That idea has been around for centuries.  And because it was such a prevalent idea for such a long time, women came to believe they don’t have power.  Society adopted this idea as truth and although it’s been called into question repeatedly, the actual truth never really took hold.  Until now, that is.  Continue reading “HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE EMPOWERED”

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The other day I overheard a conversation between a young lady who was looking down the barrel of her twelfth birthday and feeling her age and a forty-something woman.  It went like this:

Young girl:  My birthday is on Monday.  I’m going to be twelve.  I’m getting old.

Forty-something woman:  Well if you’re old, what does that make me?  I’m ancient.

I, having recently turned sixty-something, naturally had to chime in.  “Well if you’re ancient, what does that make me?”  After a second’s hesitation, the answer came back, “You’re a Goddess!” Continue reading “NEW PERSPECTIVE ON BEING A GODDESS”

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A while back, I worked with a client who was very successful in business.  She had risen to the top and was well regarded in her industry.  Susan (not her real name) was a top executive and responsible for the performance of a large team. She often had to address large crowds in periodic industry meetings.  You would think someone in that position would be very confident.  However, as part of her job, Susan was required to attend various social events and when she did, despite her high-profile position, she became a wallflower.  She felt awkward and had no idea what to talk about.  Her social anxiety was so intense it was almost crippling. Continue reading “SOCIAL ANXIETY TO PERSONAL FREEDOM”

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You may be familiar with this quote from Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure… Your playing small does not serve the world…”

I speak with many women who don’t trust themselves when it comes to making a decision regardless of the subject.  Since I used to be there myself, I fully understand where they’re coming from.  It can be a scary thing to put yourself out there and make a choice that might be unacceptable to someone else.  What many of these women don’t think about is that their idea may just have some merit.  And if it’s not the right one for the project at hand, it could be a learning experience for them. Continue reading “HOW TO FACE YOUR DEEPEST FEAR”

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Have you ever wondered why people treat you the way they do?  Do your kids ignore your attempts to get them to do chores?  Does your boss consistently pass you over for promotions?  Do you often resent having to do for everyone else?

Many of us, are not aware of the words we use or the body language we display at times.  Without realizing it we may be telling the world that we don’t have the confidence in ourselves to stand up and be counted. Continue reading “HOW WE GIVE AWAY OUR POWER WITHOUT REALIZING IT”

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