Coaching vs Therapy, The Continuing Debate

 

Since becoming a coach, I often come across the question, “What is the difference between coaching and therapy?”  Because the coaching industry is largely unregulated and counts on the ethical practices of coaches to uphold its integrity, there is a great debate on the subject.  Granted, there are some people who hang out a shingle and call themselves “Coach” without having the proper foundational training.   I admit, there was a time I was one of those Continue reading “Coaching vs Therapy, The Continuing Debate”

YOUR DREAMS CALLED. THEY WANT YOU BACK.

Living your dreamsThere was a time when you felt like you were on top of the world.  You had a great future ahead of you.  Life ahead was all lined up and you could see your dreams coming true.  You saw the perfect man, the perfect wedding, the perfect kids, the perfect career.  Money was abundant.  You traveled to foreign lands and met people from many different cultures.  Some became friends and you stayed in touch over time.  Life was perfect and you never wanted for anything.  It was a beautiful dream. Continue reading “YOUR DREAMS CALLED. THEY WANT YOU BACK.”

THE VALUE OF A DOLLAR

Originally written for Tidewater Women Magazine September 2017

Change for a dollar

 

 

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead

These days the dollar doesn’t go very far.  But Taylor Swift just increased its value exponentially.  What this young super star did for women will hopefully be seen as the beginning of the end of women having to silently bear the indignities often committed against them.  I’m sure you’ve heard about her case involving a male DJ who thought it would be acceptable for him to “cop a feel” of this young woman’s butt.  After all, what are women for?

Ms. Swift’s reaction to this assault is in stark contrast to those women who allege they were assaulted by a once revered Bill Cosby.  Approximately 50 Continue reading “THE VALUE OF A DOLLAR”

Who Are You When You’re Not Being Someone’s Mom?

Did you recently trade your Mom label for that of Empty Nester?  When your babies were born, you envisioned the life you wanted for them.  You saw them being happy and successful.  You saw them accomplishing all the important milestones. You saw them going off to college one day and learning to be independent, successful adults who would make their mark on this world in some way.  Remember those days?

EMPTY NESTER

Fast forward to today.  You just dropped off your youngest child, or perhaps your only child, at his new dorm and said goodbye with tears in your eyes.  Or maybe you hid those tears until you got far enough away that he couldn’t see you cry.  Memories come flooding back of all the times he needed you to be there for him.  The time he fell out of the tree and you nursed his cuts and Continue reading “Who Are You When You’re Not Being Someone’s Mom?”

Why Can’t People Be More Like Me?

Have you ever experienced having someone upset with you and you had no idea what they were upset about?  I suspect it’s happened at least once.  It’s not a great feeling.  It can be confusing and it can cause further misunderstandings if you don’t take the time to dig into what’s really going on.

Why is that your responsibility you may ask.  It’s not.  But if you value the friendship, you may be able to help the other person communicate more effectively by pointing out that you were unaware of their need.  By taking that extra step you can help enrich the relationship.

Can you think of a time when you were in a similar situation but the roles were reversed?  Many women run into this and they have no idea why people are always disappointing them.  Why can’t that person, friend, partner, boss be more like me? Continue reading “Why Can’t People Be More Like Me?”

How to Determine the Message in Resentment

Resentment is a tough emotion to deal with.  It can show up in all kinds of situations.  And sometimes when we least expect it, resentment can lead to actions we may not want to take.  As with all emotions, resentment is showing up to deliver a message.  What that message is for you is very personal and can only be decided by you.  If you’re not used to seeing your emotions as messengers, here’s a guide to help you get started. Continue reading “How to Determine the Message in Resentment”

How To Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

Man and woman say what you mean

It’s not always easy to say what you mean, especially when you’re not aware the other person doesn’t understand.  For instance, take a look at the following scenarios.

1) Question asked on Quora:  A guy asked me out today and I told him “no,” but I wanted him to try harder. Why didn’t he try again?

2) Your birthday is coming up and you have your eye on something special you would really love to have.  You drop hint after hint to your husband and you’re sure he’s been hearing you and planning a nice surprise.  On the big day he doesn’t even mention your birthday let alone get you what you’ve been hinting at.

3) You’ve been struggling to get a project done by the deadline.  You could really use some help but no one offers.  Your inner voice gets more and more upset as the deadline gets closer.  Finally, someone asks if you need help and you say, “No, I’m fine, thanks.”

Do you recognize yourself in any of the above scenarios?  Chances are you don’t always say what you mean.  Why is it so hard for us to communicate clearly?  It seems men have no problem telling us what they want.  Why can’t we do the same? Continue reading “How To Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say”

How to Pivot When You Feel Powerless

Pivot from powerless to powerful

“I feel so powerless.”  When I heard those words come out of her mouth, I knew we had gotten to the core of what she had been struggling with.  She had worked for years in an industry that can suck the life out of you if you let it.  Throughout our work together, she spoke of family dynamics that were less than supportive, mean bosses, sabotaging co-workers and unrealized dreams.  Any one of these situations could, over time, erode a person’s self-esteem.  And I was listening to a very smart, very talented, strong, independent woman who was dealing with a combination of them all. Continue reading “How to Pivot When You Feel Powerless”

6 Easy Steps To a Life That Doesn’t Suck

Does your life or some aspect of it, currently suck?  If so, what part isn’t working and what are you willing to do to bring it closer to what you want?  We all go through periods in our lives where we’re not happy with how things are.  These times are nothing more than signals that an adjustment is needed to get back on track.

In case you’re not sure where the track is, when you’re feeling happy, you’re on track.  When things are not feeling all that great, you’re off track.  Keeping your life in a state of non-suckiness can take some work but mostly it takes awareness.  Here are a few easy steps you can follow that should get (or keep) you on track. Continue reading “6 Easy Steps To a Life That Doesn’t Suck”

Making Friends with Your Inner Critic

We all have an inner critic.  I don’t care how well adjusted you are or how much inner work you’ve done.  You may go weeks or even months without hearing from her but one day, something happens and BAM!  There it is.  That old voice speaks up.  You know the one.  That voice that never seems to be satisfied no matter what you do or how you do it.

She burrows in little by little and if left unchecked she can take over your whole life.  But there is a way to get on her good side. Continue reading “Making Friends with Your Inner Critic”